Tuesday, July 17, 2012

worrywart

Do you ever wish your future self could visit your present self and say, "relax present self, everything is going to be fine, and I know this because I am the future you and I am alright"?

Please tell me that you have those thoughts too or I will have another thing to worry about...my sanity.

I think it is safe to say that I can, on occasion, be a bit of a worrier. I prefer to call it scenario-planning -- tomayto, tomahto. The problem is that scenario-planning can be exhausting, especially when there are so many unknowns.

I am really trying to be the type of gal who lives in the moment. I try to focus on the things I am grateful for, and there are so many of those things, but I can't help think, but what if this happens or what if that doesn't happen. Trust is not my strong suit. I find it hard to trust that everything will be okay, or at least work out as it should. I want to trust God and the people around me who love me, but I find myself worrying.

Worrying is a teeny bit narcissistic isn't it? I can't trust that the God who created the universe? I can't trust that my sweet husband who always comes through for our family will come through again? I can't trust that I have friends and family who love me and who will support us no matter what happens? Who do I think I am to question these things?

It gets worse. When I don't trust that things will be okay and when I am feeling overwhelmed I try to control everything -- because obviously I am amazing and if I am in control everything will be fine? When I say it like that, it doesn't reflect how I feel. But that is ostensibly what I am saying isn't it? I don't trust anyone but me. I must be quite something...

You know what the funny thing is? I don't even have anything in particular to worry about. We have a beautiful daughter, our health, great family and friends and jobs in the city we love. Imagine the state of my stomach if a legitimate concern arises.

I am going to try to work on being more trusting. Hopefully that will have a cascading effect and I won't feel so worried and thus won't feel a propensity to control everything. Three birds with one stone sort of thing.

Does that sound like a good plan?

Who needs a therapist when I have you? Thanks for listening.

xo

Em




1 comment:

  1. I am also a worrier. So much so that I wrote a book on it to see if doing the research would help. Indeed, it does. But I'm a work-in-progress. You may want to check out my book; I still do. It's called THE WORRYWART'S PRAYER BOOK. It's filled with Scripture, affirmations, anecdotes and prayers to help worrywarts get off the worry-go-round and trust God more. My favorite: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea." Psalm 46:1, 2.

    I also have a blog (and I worry that I don't keep it current enough), called THE WORRYWART'S CORNER, which might help worriers. Meantime, remember, God's in charge so give all your worries to Him. He's the only one Who can make any sense of them.

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