Wednesday, May 16, 2012

throwing out the baby with the bath water - opps!

{chez Violette}

Last night after work I was rushing around trying to make supper while cleaning up the mess from breakfast and thinking about what I needed to do for the rest of the night -- you know the usual weeknight routine (yes I realize this is only day three for me). Violet was in her room and she kept asking me to come in and see her. I kept telling her I'd be there in a minute -- I just had to chop one more thing, then put out the napkins and then clean my coffee mug from breakfast. One thing kept turning into another. Each time VIolet would call my name I'd feel a little guilty, but I reassured myself I was doing all of this for her. She needs a healthy supper, and a clean home and a brightly coloured, perfectly folded napkin?

When I finally pulled myself away from the to-do list (that only I cared about) and poked my head into  Vi's bedroom she asked me, "would you like to join my tea party mummy?" It struck me that maybe I was missing the whole point of this being a mum thing. Violet doesn't care if the sink has a few dishes in it, she certainly doesn't notice how I set the table, and though I do think it is important to prepare healthy meals, she is strong and meeting all her growth targets and I'm sure one night of eating something "prepared" wouldn't kill her. What Violet really wanted was for her mum to sit down and play with her. I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't always stop and do that. I get caught up doing things "for Violet" and I forget to actually be present when I am with her.

I thought about this, then I ran and got my camera, because the picnic she had set up was so cute. Old habits die hard. Then I remembered my whole live in the moment, take time to hang out with your child thing and I put the camera down. It felt nice to sit and play.



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