indulge

{books then bed -- kiddos do it right}

Violet is asleep, Jeff is off studying and there are, as always, a million things I could be doing with my time. I have marking to do, chores that are unfinished and a best friend who I owe a phone call to, but I have decided to be completely indulgent. It is 8:11, I am in my nightie and I have my book beside me. I will read and then sleep. It will be glorious. To do lists be damned.

I seem to always be overcomitting myself and then running around a bit like a chicken with its head cut off. I'm not the most self-aware person in the world, but even I can recognize that deep down I must like being busy. Either that or I must not like being idle. Why else would I agree to do so much and then try to bake cookies on top of it?

I guess if my hyperactivity comes from a healthy place it is probably fine. My friend Keira and I were talking about character traits the other week and she pointed out that "good traits" can come from unhealthy places and vice versa (I am totally paraphrasing, this was one of our hallway conversions so don't hold Keira to this). For example, say I really like being around people, is that because I am super social (healthy place) or because I can't be alone (unhealthy)?

Interesting. I hadn't really thought of it that way before.

I think that sometimes my propensity to buzz around comes from an unhealthy place. Why can't I just rest, be quiet, relax and indulge in the bliss that is doing nothing? I don't have an answer to that, but I do have a good book and a pile of dirty laundry I am basically giving the finger to.

What can I say, I am doing it for my mental health.

xo

Em