girl talk

{little girls in pretty boxes}

Tonight as Violet stood up in the bath to get out she looked at me and said, "I have a big fat belly". She didn't appear to be bothered by the size of her middle, rather she was simply stating a fact. She smiled sweetly as I wrapped her in a towel. I paused, quickly wracking my brain, is this a self-esteem thing? Did someone call her fat? I could feel my heart in my chest. She is half-a-step past being a baby,  I said to myself, there is no way she is cognizant of her weight. I am totally reading into this, deep breath. I gave her an extra big squeeze and told her she was strong and beautiful. She smiled and said, "I know". Maybe I needn't have worried about her self-esteem.

Remember when I said how fun it was to have a daughter...this is the not so fun part (although I know boy's can have issues with weight too). It is hard finding a balance between promoting healthy living (eating well and moving around) and allowing a kid to be a kid (moon mist ice-cream comes to mind). It is especially difficult because I am torn between the two myself; doesn't everyone want to be healthy and enjoy their life too? Just because I am a mum doesn't mean I am not susceptible to pressures about appearance. It is hard to teach someone about having good body image when you feel pressure in that area yourself. I doubt I am alone here.

Even though I am pretty sure Violet's comment was totally benign it made me feel so protective of her. I don't want her to have to care or even know about things like her weight. I want her to love herself and be proud of her accomplishments. I try to compliment her on things other than her appearance, but I catch myself saying, "you are so cute" or "don't you look pretty".

Maybe all I can do is to try to show Violet that I love myself, and that I am proud of my accomplishments. Kids are pretty smart though. I think they can tell if you are being honest, which is too bad really because actually loving yourself and really being proud of your accomplishments is sometimes hard -- even if you are amazing!

xo

Em

footballer's mother

{"this jersey is clearly too big and I am freezing"}

It was less than 10 degrees in Halifax tonight. Awesome for three and four year olds who want to place soccer... Actually, it was the parents who really suffered, at least the kiddos were running around!

I can't write as affectionately about soccer as I can about dance class. I played soccer as a kid so I don't have to live this one through Vi. (My friend Aja will tell you I played on a remedial team, but I was blissfully unaware of that fact at the time, although the revelation certainly stung in high school!) Even though I can't wax poetic about my experience as a soccer mom I am happy Violet is going to be playing her first official team sport, and I love the idea of Tuesday evenings spent running around outside. I love the idea of a tuckered out girl falling into bed without an epic battle for one more story if the truth is to be told.

Side note: I hope that next week Violet doesn't have to wear two jackets under her uniform. Although if it looks that big with two jackets underneath we will be in full blown caftan territory next week!

Violet warmed up both literally and metaphorically as the night went on. By the end she was screaming, "I can kick faster than you" as she ran around the field. I am not sure speed of kicking is anything to be proud of, but she was feeling pretty good about it!

We wrapped up the evening with a quick trip to Dee Dees -- Violet had mint chocolate chip (mean mummy said no to the real thing) and Jeff had the maple walnut -- holy hannah. Get down to Dee Dees and try it. So good. So so good.

I am off to take a warm bath, my toes are still cold and my bed is singing a siren song.

xo

Em

{so she is capable of listening}

{only in Canada would one have to wear two jackets to play soccer at the end of May}

{ice cream night cap}

tired of the high road

{worth it}

It is not fair.

I hear a lot of that from a certain someone in my life.

Tonight I kind of get what she means.

You know when you want to yell, and point out that none of this is your fault, and that you did everything you could and that despite how terribly you have been treated you always took the high road? You know when your cheeks get flushed because what you really want to say is, I don't have to be this nice, you know; I could make this much worse for you, you know; you are lucky I am even willing to answer this call, you know? You know those times when insults are applicable, but the person who deserves them is just so sad, and it makes you sad too instead of angry? You know the feeling deep in your stomach that maybe everything will not be okay? Those times really suck. I can't think of a more poetic way to say it.

And so I've asked for the strength to be gracious when I really don't want to be gracious anymore -- the strength to be gracious when I'd rather use the f-word.

Tonight I am especially grateful to be able to tuck my sweet girl into bed. I am equally grateful to tuck myself into bed with the latest Mad Men and my sweet husband.

xo

Em

a little taste of heaven

church dress

pain au chocolat

sun kissed cheeks

tanned hands

dirty blonde ringlets

grassy lawn

ocean breeze

xo

Em

green thumb

{Mary, Mary quite contrary}

I think I've mentioned that contrary to this post's title I do not have a green thumb. I love other people's gardens, and I'd like to have a nice outdoor space I just don't have the skill or knowledge, nor the inclination to spend the time to make that happen. But, I am taking baby steps. I've kept herbs alive for a few months now, and I have a few house plants that have made it through the whole winter (okay, they are succulents and orchids -- not the hardest things to keep alive, but still progress).

This morning at the market I was inspired by all of the beautiful flowers for sale. We decided to spruce up our front steps with a couple of planters. I thought that potted plants would be a good place to start, before I consider what to do with our actual garden. The pots look a little sparse, but I love the light green, pink and white colour combination and I think they will fill out over the summer. Am I right?

It was fun digging in the dirt for a while. It is surprising how much of a difference a little colour can make to an entryway. It was an overcast day here in Halifax, but it ended beautifully with suppertime sunshine -- just what my little plants need!

Our backyard is an issue for another day. I don't know how to approach it. It is very shaded, rocky and is about 60% grass/ 40% dirt. We don't own our place, but I'd love to make the yard more useable while we are here. Any suggestions?

Have a great Saturday!

xo

Em

{my first outdoor potted plant}

{supplies}

{a girl after my own heart -- telling a joke...}

{...and then laughing harder than anyone else!}

one ingredient ice-cream

{an instant summer classic}

When I heard about one ingredient ice-cream I was skeptical. When I heard that bananas were the one ingredient I thought, yeah right. Well I am eating crow tonight ladies and gentleman -- that is, I will eat crow once I finish my bowl of delicious frozen banana ice-cream. I literally cannot believe it.

Let me back-track a little, my friend Jackie shared a recipe with me that uses frozen bananas to make a one ingredient ice-cream. All you need are four frozen bananas and a food processor. I was still wary, but I thought what do I have to lose -- four overripe bananas, I can handle that. Don't get me wrong I like bananas, but I don't love them. Like many people, I eat them mostly because I know they are good for me.

My parents came over for a quick weeknight dinner tonight and I decided to test out the banana ice-cream on them. This morning before work I quickly cut up four ripe bananas into thick slices and tossed them in the freezer. After dinner I popped the frozen banana slices into the food processor and waited. Low and behold after a minute or two the bananas started to look like ice-cream.

The recipe I was forwarded mentioned that you could eat the ice-cream as it is, with only bananas or you could add a little peanut butter and/or cocoa powder. I tried the banana ice cream without anything in it and it was delicious. It has the texture of a frozen cream pie. It was smooth and deliciously creamy. I decided to add a generous tablespoon of almond butter to the bananas for good measure. Oh my word it was delicious. I definitely think it was better with the almond butter, but I would eat it either way. I am excited to add cocoa next time (though I could hardly call it one-ingredient ice-cream at that point could I?)

I think this is something you have to taste to believe, so I'll give you the "recipe".

This is what I did (and what I will be doing again repeatedly all summer):

1. Chop four ripe bananas into 2 cm slices. Put them in the freezer in a ziplock bag.

2. Let the bananas freeze (I left mine in the freezer all day)

3. Put the frozen bananas in a food processor and whiz -- it takes a few minutes so don't be discouraged if the mixture doesn't look like ice-cream right away

4. Once the mixture is smooth (it looks like soft serve) add a heaping tablespoon of almond butter, but only if you want to take it to the next level, you could just eat the banana only ice-cream. It would make you happy too.

5. If you chose to add the almond butter, whiz until it is integrated.

6. Serve any way you enjoy ice-cream. It might be a little soft for a cone, but perhaps if you put the mixture back in the freezer it would firm up a bit (I'll test this and let you know).

So, you absolutely must try this. Go get bananas right now while you are thinking about it. It is so cussing delicious, I just know you'll love it.

Thank you Jackie for the recipe and you are welcome everyone who is reading this. This is a life changing moment for you (see Exhibit A). Healthy, easy, inexpensive ice-cream. Yep, that just happened.

xo

Em

Exhibit A:

A Jane Austen moment

{Marianne Dashwood & Willoughby -- obviously}

Today as I walked home from work a light mist was falling. Unlike my walk to work, where I hid under a rain jacket and a broken umbrella, on my way home I let the light mist hit my face. It felt good. I spent all day cooped up inside with my back to the window; it was so nice to feel the cool water on my cheeks.

As I walked home I pictured Marianne Dashwood (of Sense and Sensibility fame) walking in the hills of Southern England, her hair curly from the rain, her cheeks flushed from exertion. I'm no fool, I know I don't look like Kate Winslet (or the beautiful Charity Wakefield pictured above), but the thought did cross my mind that I must look so healthy and possibly even Victorian as I walked home through the mist. The thought gave me an extra spring in my step, I smiled at everyone I passed. Walking home is the best, I thought to myself. I always say I wish I lived a more European lifestyle and now look at me, walking home, despite the crummy weather. I could live in Southern England or Denmark. The rain had nothing on Ms. Dashwood and it has nothing on me I thought.

But then, as I approached my house, I saw my reflection in the screen door. I stopped dead in my tracks. Instead of the Marianne Dashwood-esque figure I expected to see I saw frizzy hair, smudged mascara and sweaty cheeks. It is a bizarre feeling to be shocked by your own reflection. Emily, you have officially lost touch with reality I thought, then I laughed to myself. What was I thinking!

I wiped under my eyes, smoothed my hair down with my hands and blotted my cheeks with my sleeve -- a minor improvement, but I was still no Winslet.

No more period dramas for me for a while!

xo

Em