Working girl

{image via}

Wednesdays are my long day. I kiss my sweet girl goodbye after breakfast and I don't see her again until she is sound asleep.

It is hard being a working mum, but I don't think it is any harder the alternative. Alternatives?

I sometimes wonder if the only reason I wish I could stay home with Violet is because I can't, then I feel guilty. I think of the days I do spend with her, which can be amazing don't get me wrong, but they can also be long, lonely, isolating, frustrating and whether or not they are good or bad, they are invariably exhausting. Would I even be able to handle being a stay at home mum? Is that what I really want?

My mum stayed home with us when until my brother went to school. I'm not sure if she is just being nice, but she refers to those years as among her most satisfying. If I ever stay home with my children I hope I am a mum like her. I'm really not sure I would be though.

It is hard to know exactly what you want isn't it? I don't think of myself as being incredibly ambitious. I would, however, like to have a career. At least I think that is what I want. I went to school for a long time, shouldn't I use my education? Shouldn't I want to?

Being a working mum isn't all bad. Aside from the satisfaction of my job itself, there are little perks. For example, I get to talk to grown-ups about things other than Violet (although you know I squeeze that girl into every conversation I can...I am one of those). I get to take coffee breaks and they really are a break - totally silent if I so choose. If I go to the bathroom, no one follows me. These are little things, but they are nice little things.

I guess this little conundrum is reason #572959 I wish I lived at Downton Abbey. I should be more specific, I wish I lived upstairs at Downton Abbey. I am certain I should have been born into the aristocracy...

xo

Em